198127looked aboutStill she could say nothing; only feel how, as Mr. Ramsay turneddisappointed of help from her, to look for it elsewhere, hisgaze seemed, like a crape veil to fall dolefully upon the sunnyenvelopcontented, drowsygrass & cast the rubicund the contented, the half, bulk ofMr. Carmichael into a [?] & in a veil of crape.The dot may be a stray mark. as ifhis existence in a world of woeas if his colour his content his bulk were unfortunate; incongruous;provoked to dismal thoughts. Could Mr. Carmichael only be wafted to them,Lily thought: For instinct told her this effusion of sighs & lamentationsThenwould cease instantly: no man would men together he wouldstaunch this lamentable outpouring which, as she stood there,stanchcould man beapplied tostanch thewounds ofmenin [?] [?]?flowed about [?].She seemed to bedrowning in ?her [?] or ofstill, ?or ifhis wrknot knowing what in the world to say made her feel theinadequacy of her own womanhood. A woman, she provoked this horror:she should then, as she had seen other women do, ?she ?who receive itBut all this immense self- pity, this But no. His immensepouredselfpity flowed about him. She stood there nervously grasping herpaint brush.Heaven could never be sufficiently thanked!Heaven could never be sufficiently thanked! She heardsounds of in the house. James & Cam must be But Mr.Ramsay still (so she felt) still exerted upon her solitary figurethe immense pressure of all his demands concentrated woe; hisloss of wife & son & daughter; his age; his frailty; (physically he looked asusual) his desolation; his devotion; & his solitary pursuitof objects which (here he noticed his bootlace undone, &Lily positively breathed more freely as he stooped hisfrom his sombre height beside her, & & placing his foot on a[?stone] knoll of grass began with to knot & brace & knot aboot which, it suddenly struck her to say, wasremarkable.She was ashamed of herself.To praise hisboots, when he had asked for her attention to his miseriesherto solacesoulwhen he came like a child fallen on the shingle, to show herhis knees & [?raked], his hands bleeding, that surely deservedannihilation, was surely her fault.Yet she cd not help it

"What beautiful boots!" she said.And at once - ?NothingHis bootsYet - so incalculablewas Mr. Ramsay - he lifted a face beaming with pleasure.his
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