206145June21st 1926There was the next wave, rising up on top of her.Those lines enclosedshape?bulk matter,shapea formidable space - For whatis more formidable than a spaceenclosed between two linesHow it bulges,which, as Lily saw it, is enclosed between twothisthislines bulk,matter, this impersonal tremendously impressiveHere she was again inobtrusive object?Lily felt it it - the presence of that oldshape,enemy of hers, that sh problemshape, form; that whichexercised upon her a sway which she never could explain. Awhite lampshade is not in itself anything whatsoever, yetdrawth as she sat reading, or talking she would find her eye drawn to itwith a fascination which was, (if she thought about it) reprehensible.It protruded; it existed; it was impended. Its solidity wasitsthe Nothing could exceed the space there between the hedge & the housein reality; nothing could be more present, more compelling, morelike the presence of the stark whatever it is that rules theof some apparition behind of truth behind appearances, theShe saw her old enemy, her old problem; she recognisedadmitted its tyranny over us her, as if she hadthe hidden apparition of truth; compelling; & calming too.& the peculiar nature of thisrelationship, - which differed fromany other, being an in that it calledhe upon her perpetually tofight, to make efforts: it wasintolerant of acquiescence. ThisGod - shape, form, mass, bulk -unlike other Gods,said roused her toperpetual combat; & here she would beat it engaged in vain warfare for the rest of her days.Summoned forth from all her,called beyond the comforts &She liked it; she rejoiced in it; butstill to exchangethe fluidity of life for the concentration of painting?flung was always like a surprise & an effort & ?worsethat is more drastic than it had been the time before; &more prolific of terrifying doubts and dependencies, &questions; as for instance, What do I do it for? Andhave I the right, & am I fitted, & am I not allowingselfish, & all the rest; among which would boomworld & compels our allegiance; or exacts our submissionblending inwasalways
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