193117putting an end to this —Ramsay caught her eye, he would be all for reducing her exaltationIt wasshe wantedas indeed all contact ?must be ruinous; she desired loneliness &?is ?elseShe bethought her —if hesomething — something else Oh she had left her paints in the hallshe hadsomething else — herpaint.ButWhatlast night.her ?paintboxGetting up, she She hurried off, before Mr. Ramsay shouldturn r again to get her paint. & So, by standing her easelthere on the edge of the lawn, & putting her canvasnervously she unstrapped the box. She fetched herself awith rags, bottle, brushes.chair. She fussed about, rather unnecessarily to keep offMr. Ramsay Whenever Mr. Ramsay approached turned towards her.With him ruin approached, chaos approached. She did notwant to talk to him — she did not want to hear him speak asdid lasthe might, of Mrs. Ramsay. [Last night he had done it, asstood itShe put it on theedge of the lawnwhen everything was so unreal that muddled up that she had onlynotfelt as one thing more than another. But now if he shouldbegin — really she could not stand it.] "You find thingsmuch altered." Dumb & staring though they had all satall these children, six children,she had felt (knowing them scarcely at all, James, Nancyof Englandcalled themthe Kings & Queenssixthe Red, the Good, theStern, the Sullen,Cam the Bad & so onat the moment& there they hadsatCam, Roger, ) how they raged under it. A housefull of unrelated passions — she had felt that when shewent to bed. And on top of this chaos, Mr. Ramsay got up,& [?] seeming to ignored it all, & not to notice anything. & said(she had been touched, though) You will find us muchchanged."& thehadPoor And They all sat silent. as if he must be allowed to[?] sum things up as he chose; & still ?set ?on them someor[?shown]some restraint, some covering which as they real, some restraint.But she had noticed James the Sullen, doggedly frowningaas if he held some leaf in the garden in the his mind'svice (it was powerful, she guessed); & Cam the Bad, with a morebeaten expression twiddling her fingers, as if she wouldtwistit washetorture whatever she held until this torture ceased to torture[?]theher. Then, It was about going to the Lighthouse, &being up in good time; but & Did they not want to come, to [?]Mr. Ramsay asked, holding the door, &, had they
